Infertility and IVF During Lockdown – 25/04/20
Due to social distancing measures, infection control and staff being allocated elsewhere all IVF clinics in the UK have been forced to close indefinitely, with no clear idea of when they might reopen. The effect on their patients has been immense, for some people treatment was halted before it really started and for others they have had to pause during treatment usually after egg collection and their embryos frozen for transfer at a later date. Devastatingly, others might have had a failed cycle and have no way of discussing the outcome or next steps.
Everyone is stuck in some sort of limbo and this can make people feel a mixture of emotions such as anger, resentment, sadness, frustration and a continuing feeling of unfairness. Let’s face it, having to have treatment in the first place is unfair. Of course, some people might feel relief. Relief that they don’t have to go into a hospital at this time, or if they were to be successful,being saved from the anxiety of being pregnant right now.
Some of these feelings are akin to the feelings of grief and loss. Often women feel a sense of loss when they are going through fertility treatment already, it’s a loss of their fertility and their bodies not being able to do what they are ‘supposed to do’. This can be exacerbated at this time with others making hurtful jokes about there being a Covid 19 baby boom, not for everyone there won’t.
A failed IVF transfer can feel like a pregnancy loss. Some people seem to think that you just show up and then have a baby put in. Not realising that its weeks and weeks of injecting, invasive scans and procedures. When it fails or when the chance is taken away from you that’s a loss. Often people don’t understand grief when its invisible.
For many this might have been their last chance to conceive, this could be because of age or it may have been made impossible because of the financial issues caused by Covid 19. So, having to come to terms with the fact that they won’t have a child can feel unsurmountable. And all of this during lockdown which is bad enough on its own. Getting pregnant has become the most important thing in their life and this has been taken away, they don’t get to build the family that they dreamed.
You have every right to feel upset and angry that you can’t use that extra time being at home to get pregnant.
You can be upset about a cancelled or postponed cycle, and know that others have it worse, the two are not mutually exclusive.
You are allowed to feel sad about this and to grieve.
Sian Naftal is a qualified counsellor who, amongst other things, specialises in fertility issues, pregnancy loss, PND and PPD, anxiety and relationship issues. www.skncounselling.com
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