Recently it was Bereaved Mother’s Day. It was also the 8 th anniversary of my first miscarriage. Part of my counselling specialism is pregnancy/baby loss however this is the first time that I have written about my own losses, and it occurred to me that maybe I don’t talk about them enough. I was 39, I just had a 4 th round of IVF. I’d recently submitted my pregnancy test and the clinic called to say that the result was positive. I could not believe it! All these years of trying, the countless disappointments, invasive tests and painful injections, to finally hear the words I had been longing for. It did not occur to me that anything could go wrong. I had experienced a miscarriage when I was 18, so I thought it couldn’t possibly happen to me again. Surely life wouldn’t be that cruel. I went for my first scan at the clinic, which is normal when the baby is around 6 weeks (some people may call it an embryo but to me it was my baby). There was a concern that it had not grown t